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You have the right to a relationship that is equal, respectful, supportive, and safe. If you feel that something is not right in your relationship, there is help available.

Police

If you are in danger now, call 111 .

You can ring the police, even if you can’t talk: dial 111 and push 55 to signal that you want the police.

If you would like to contact the police about a person abusing you but not urgently, you can call 105 or visit your local Police station. An officer will talk to you about all the options available to you.

Youthline

Youthline's Helpline service is free, confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Free text 234

Free 24/7 call 0800 37 66 33

Email Youthline

Are You OK - Family Violence helpline

Call a team of trained counsellors for support 24/7

0800 456 450

Find out more here

Change is Possible

It takes courage to step up and seek change. If you're concerned your behaviour is hurting or scaring loved ones, you can find information and support here to make positive changes for you and your whānau/family.

innerBoy

innerBoy is a free men's mental health app with a guided support program where Matt Brown facilitates connection to your inner boy. A school of healing for innerBoys.

Safe to Talk

Safe to Talk is a helpline for people who have been impacted by sexual harm. You can:

Text them on 4334

Support for rainbow/queer communities

These are some of the key rainbow organisations that provide support and information to LGBTI+, takatāpui, MVPFAFF+ and other rainbow people across Aotearoa.

1737

Are you feeling stressed or just need someone to talk to?
Are you feeling down or a bit overwhelmed?
Do you know someone who is feeling out-of-sorts or down?

Free call 1737 or free text 1737 any time, 24 hours a day. You’ll get to talk to (or text with) a trained counsellor or talk to a peer support worker. The service is completely free. Find out more here.

(Quiz)

Relationship Quiz

Everyone deserves to have a happy and trusting relationship.
Take our relationship quiz to see if yours is healthy or abusive.

Do they complain that you don’t spend enough time with them? No, we both have our own lives. Sometimes, they insist on coming on my nights out. Yes, they make me feel guilty when I make plans with friends. They say my friends are trying to break us up.
Do they say anything about how you dress or what you look like? They give me compliments, but that’s it really. Yes, they complain about the clothes I wear and how I look. Yes, they tell me what to wear all the time
Do they send you constant texts checking up on you when you’re not with them? We keep in touch, but no more than I do with other people in my life. Sometimes, they get annoyed at me if they don’t know what I’m up to.
Yes, they are always messaging me. They have to know what I’m doing and where I am every minute of every day.
Red flags for an abusive relationship are when your partner:

messages you constantly

gets annoyed when you don’t reply straight away

asks where you are all the time

demands to know who you are with

You can text Love Better to 234 for 24/7 support. Learn more about red flags here.
Do they ever go through your phone or social media to see who you’ve been talking to? No, they respect my privacy. Sometimes. They say we shouldn’t have any secrets. Always. They demand my passwords to everything and look at all my messages.
Have they ever posted or shared any explicit or intimate images or videos of you online? No. No, but when we fight they sometimes threaten to post private photos of me. Yes. They have posted private photos of me.
Do you feel like you are being watched or monitored by your partner? No. I’m not sure. Sometimes they know about places I’ve been or things I’ve done that I haven’t told them about. Yes, I think they have installed something on my phone so they know where I am and who I’m with all the time.
Do you feel afraid to disagree with them in case they get angry? No, we have our disagreements but we both respect one another’s opinions. Sometimes, if they are upset about something they can get angry and stop listening. Always, they have a really bad temper and I am always walking on eggshells so I just go along with whatever they say.
Do they ever hit, kick, or shove you? No, I feel safe with them. Once, and I’m afraid they’ll do it again. All the time.
Have they ever forced or pressured you to do anything sexual that you didn’t want to do? No. Not physically, but they have guilted me into doing things before. Yes.
Do you feel afraid to break up with them for any reason? No, I feel like I can if I want to. Yes, I tried to break up with them before but they made it too difficult. Yes, they say they will hurt themselves or me if I break up with them.
Your Results

It sounds like your relationship is healthy. Learn more about healthy relationships here.

This quiz is based on the Too Into You Relationship Quiz created by Women’s Aid Ireland as part of their Too Into You campaign for young people. Find out more at toointoyou.ie
Your Results

It sounds like your relationship might be unhealthy. Think more about your relationship and how it makes you feel. Remember, if it feels wrong it probably is.
- Text Love Better to 234 to get support 24/7
- Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling
- Find support and information on our Get Help page
This quiz is based on the Too Into You Relationship Quiz created by Women’s Aid Ireland as part of their Too Into You campaign for young people. Find out more at toointoyou.ie
Your Results

It sounds like your partner might be trying to control you. This could be part of a pattern of abuse. Nobody has the right to control, coerce or threaten you. Talk to someone you trust about what is going on, or Get Help here.

This quiz is based on the Too Into You Relationship Quiz created by Women’s Aid Ireland as part of their Too Into You campaign for young people. Find out more at toointoyou.ie

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Love Better is a primary prevention campaign aimed at fostering safe, positive, and equal relationships. Brought to you by the  Ministry of Social Development.

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