By Rachel Barker
In 2022 we got the first and only season of FBOY Island NZ.
The dating show saw 3 women plonked on an island with 20 men. One of whom had been on trial for attempting to suffocate a woman and was edited out of the show when this was uncovered.
The men on the island are split into two groups: Self professed “nice guys” here to win love and “fboys”, here for the 50k prize money that they win if they convince one of the girls to pick them at the end.
The contestants lie to each other to end up in more favourable placements. They’re encouraged to lay their affection on hard, in a way that mimics love bombing or even grooming, in fear of getting eliminated for not standing out. And with each girl having to choose a boy to date at the end, FBOY Island perpetuates the idea that you have to settle for whoever shows you affection, even if none of the affection on offer is that healthy or legitimate.
The show also encourages fractured relationships in dating: We’re constantly seeing our 3 girls jump from one guy to the next at any sign of less-than-ideal partnership and as soon as they feel the god-forsaken “ick.”
While you should never date someone that you don’t like, this attitude of ditching someone that doesn’t immediately fit your perfect partner tick-list, doesn’t reflect the work that real life relationships can take.
Even without the dodgy premise, the chats that the contestants have are painful to make the show hard to watch. The only thing more uncomfortable than being subjected to obviously unreciprocated flirting yourself is watching someone shoot their shot with cringey pick-up lines on national TV.
Less than 2 minutes in, the season preview gives us the lines “nice guys finish last” and “I’ve got a 12 inch” in concerning succession, and shows our central girls in genuine tears over their treatment by the boys. From there-on, deceit ensues, until our problematic kings are crowned.
In the end 2 out of 3 girls went with an “fboy”.
You might think this is a win, showing that bad behaviour gets you what you want. But in real life there’s no cash price reward for messing with someone’s emotions.
The brunt of the issue is that FBOY Island rewards deception in dating and encourages its male contestants to manipulate their female counterparts for their own gain. It’s not a portrayal of healthy love.
We all love a bit of reality trash and it’s normal for dating shows to be silly and bad and dumb, because sometimes people are silly and bad and dumb – but FBOY Island locked its insidious ideas into its premise.
Thankfully, the show was a spectacular disaster that failed, not just as a good example of love but as a tv show – receiving public backlash and no second season. It’s mostly been forgotten.
So, what do we learn from FBOY Islands brief time in the sun? The most significant takeaway as a viewer is the reminder that if genuine happiness is what you're seeking, you won’t find it by behaving like the contestants do here.
And if you find yourself behaving like the 10 “fboys” when you’re romantically involved with someone, you should ask yourself why you’re dating at all. What do you want from it, if not real care, support and affection?
